Not Your Traditional Family
I am not a part of a traditional family so non-traditional families are my thing. I mean it - I have only really ever known one non-traditional form of family or another throughout my entire life. And despite my desires to be “normal” or “traditional”, I ended up providing my own children with a non-traditional family as well.
I was born to and raised by a single mother. My sister and I only ever knew my mom, my maternal grandparents and friends who adopted my mom as family. I was lonely a lot and felt like I didn’t fit anywhere.
So when it came time to get married and have my own children I was determined to make it work and give them a “normal” life. Despite our efforts, my girl’s father and I were divorced after five years of marriage. My desire to provide my daughters with a traditional, easy to explain family disappeared.
A short time of single motherhood followed and then I got remarried and we blended our families. He had three kids, I had two - we were just one short of the modern day Brady Bunch.
My husband and I dated in high school, then went our separate ways before we graduated. We both thought it ended for different reasons - he thought he was too much of a “bad boy” to my “good girl”. I was afraid that the dysfunctions of my family life were starting to seep through and he would find out that I was pretty messed up.
It never occurred to me that he would understand, seeing that he was being raised by an aunt and uncle. His non-traditional family just looked so much neater than my life felt. I deeply desired what I called normalcy, but now understand it to be stability. But more than anything I wanted to not have to cover up the short-comings of my non-traditional family.
Isn’t that what being different does? It makes us want to cover it up, discount it and make it less valuable than it really is.
There are so many instances of non-traditional families in the Bible. The daughter of Pharaoh would find and adopt Moses (Exodus 2:1-10). Sarah attempted to build her family through her servant Hagar before she gave birth to Isaac (Genesis 16:1-2).
Even Jesus was in a blended family. Joseph was not his “biological” father and therefore his siblings would have been half siblings (Matthew 1:18-21). So if the Savior of the world and the Son of God can be borne into a non-traditional family, the God of heaven must see “family” much differently than we do.
Coming to a place of peace regarding my view of family came with a lot of hidden truths and deep healing. I had to stop worrying about how complicated my life seemed to other people and realize I was walking in what God had for me in that moment. Not my will, but His.
Family doesn’t have to mean blood relation. As a matter of fact Matthew 3:33 reminds us that it is the people that are doing God’s will - they are our real family, and the ones we are going to spend all of eternity with.
Having a family that is not traditional is a gift. And being a biological mom, a step mom, a spiritual mom and maybe even an adoptive mom one day -- is such a gift. Today I am ok with all of the various mom titles I carry and sometimes have to explain.
So this Mother’s Day month, we want to celebrate all forms of Motherhood and family. And I personally want to encourage Mamas of every kind that you are doing a great job!
Bio
Lydia has been walking with Jesus, as her Savior, for 14 years. Lydia and Greg are high school sweethearts that reconnected after their high school reunion and have been married for almost 14 years. Despite previous divorces they have committed their lives to learning to do marriage, family and life with others God’s way. In their blended family they have three his, and 2 hers. Their 5 children are aged 17 to 22. She and her husband serve as Directors of 1Love Ministries, and Lydia is the host of the ministry show on YouTube ”Adventures in 1Love”. She also is a partner in an event planning company and loves to help people create affordable events that will provide beautiful memories for families and friends for years to come. She enjoys time with family, reading, writing, music, traveling, and all the adventures that walking with the Lord brings.