Starving for Grace

My third little princess just turned one.  For the sake of sweet nostalgia and grateful reflection, I looked up her home birth story to give it a fresh read.  I was reminded of several life lessons learned that I need to continue applying. The birth story also included a few thoughts on my pregnancy journey with her.  One phrase that particularly stood out about how I felt during those months was “starving for grace.”

I was exhausted--understandably--I was growing a human in my body 24/7 for 9 months. But apparently something as invasive, exhaustive, and miraculous as growing a human these days just isn’t enough.  “Why can’t you just pull yourself together, Joan? There is so much to do!” My inner critic would ask. 

My sweet girl was born just one day after her due date--literally a healthy full-term baby, growing perfectly--but the narrative repeated, not soon enough. “No baby yet? Have you tried this?” others would ask. As if not delivering a baby early or “on time” meant I wasn’t doing it right.

Pregnancy also required closer attention to what I ate. Add that to the plate. It altered my hormones, which impacted how I acted around my husband and kids; I just didn’t feel like my usual self--again, understandable--yet and still, guilt. 

The world kept moving at it’s usual pace, with its usual demands.  But my pregnant self needed grace for my pace.  Grace to waddle, breathe, snack, nap and even--gasp--scale back a bit on my to do list.  Grace mostly from myself, and my own nagging guilt, but also perceived grace from others, who were directly affected by my compromised capacity.

Moms do so much!!!  But it never feels like enough: 

There’s always more to declutter #minimalism 

There are always better ingredients to choose #organic

There’s always a greener option #sustainable 

There’s always a better way to parent #tocryornottocryitout 

There’s always more weight to lose, more muscles to tone #bounceback

You get the picture; the pressure is relentless. It reminds me of the jars of clay verse in the Bible.

“...We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4: 7-9

God made us human. Earthen vessels, enriched with an all-surpassing, indwelling power that is not from us.  We may feel pressure on every side but He will not let it  crush or destroy us.  His grace can keep us from despair.

In the midst of your guilt, receive God‘s grace.  When the world presses in with expectations, unrealistic standards and endless knowledge of all the ways you are falling short--let his light shine in your heart with the light of the knowledge of God‘s glory displayed in the face of Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6).  Translation: Jesus is enough and knowing this is glorious!

So no matter how loud the mom-guilt gets, no matter how many ways you fall short and don’t feel like you are or do enough, remember that Jesus is enough.

You could never do enough to please the one person whose opinion actually matters, namely, the God of the universe. So stop trying to please other fallen people. Stop listening to your own inner critic. You never could have done enough, anyway! That’s why Jesus came to pay it all; so you and I could be in right standing with God by grace through faith. This truth is glorious and it surpasses all the pressure and all the lies.

Grace breathes rest into your weary soul. Grace leads to thanksgiving, which brings glory to God. So be grateful, mama, for what He has already done, for this brings glory to God.  Nursing guilt over your humanity and over all you have yet to do is not serving anyone.

On your worst day, God loved you and sent His son to die for you. Jesus declared with His life that you are enough. Period.

On your worst day, you are still, mom.  Your kids love you for who you are, not just for all you do. So does God. So why won’t you? #graceyourself

My very name, Joan, means God is gracious. So take it from a mom who needs to be reminded daily of God’s grace: His grace is sufficient for you. In your weakness, his strength is made perfect. So you can even boast about your weaknesses, because you now know that it is His power that rests on you. When you are weak, you can find strength in Him.

Let’s stop starving ourselves of grace. 

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break! 

May God restore your sense of gratitude. May God give you rest. May God give you peace and security that this world cannot shake.

Enough is enough!

#graceyourself

Bio

Joan has been loving and living for Jesus since she was 16 years old. She has been married to her husband, Travis for 12 years. They have three daughters, Juliana (6), Gabriella (4), and Luna (1). She is a homeschooling, stay at home mom. She and her husband serve as Associate Pastors at Proximity church in Orlando, Florida. She also pampers women in her community through a small home based business. She loves coffee, chocolate and deep conversations.