Beauty in Surrender

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Have you ever thought that beauty could be found in surrender?

Last Sunday as I was leading worship God reminded me of the beauty of surrender. I know that the beauty of surrender can sound strange to some who view it as a weakness. If you think of war and being on the side that surrenders that doesn’t always look great. Imagine fighting in a battle for hours and realizing that you cannot win so you surrender. The battle was fought so lives were already lost and now you have to live with that knowledge. Who wants to surrender when you are so eager to win? Surrendering can also be difficult for those who are accustomed to doing everything on their own.

Yet, surrendering can be freeing and beautiful in that our focus is no longer on us doing or fixing, but on allowing Him to do all things. This is not an easy step because it is out of our control and that can be hard.

I’m reminded of a time when I wanted to conceive and every month the test came back negative. We had been trying for a few years and it just seemed like it would never happen. My husband and I were working in youth ministry and I found that those around me were getting pregnant. I was feeling so frustrated and started getting angry because I thought “how could they get pregnant and not me?” One night while I was home I just wept and poured out my heart to the Lord. The following day at church, a woman I never met came to me and said, “The Lord wanted me to tell you that He hears you. He knows the hurt you are feeling but He wants you to give it to Him.” In tears I listened as she spoke on everything I had prayed to God about the day prior.

What I desired most, He wanted me to leave at His feet. But how could I just leave it behind and walk away from something I so desperately wanted? As I struggled with this process, Genesis 22 came to mind. Abraham is asked to sacrifice his son Isaac. Abraham may have not been positive a sacrifice would be provided in place of his son, yet he still went to the mountain because he believed that even if that sacrifice was not provided that God had the power to raise him from the dead. His faith was based on his trust in God’s power and the Lord’s ability to always provide. His faith and trust in God allowed him to lay down the desire of his heart to take on the desire of God’s heart. I can’t imagine the struggle that was going on in him but his faith in God was stronger than his feelings. That night I laid my dream and desire of being a mom at His feet and felt such a peace.

The beauty of surrender comes from letting go of trying to control every part of my life and allowing God to do what He said He would do in my life. Surrender allows Him to move without interruptions and turns our attention back to Him. When we surrender, we stop focusing on the issue and aren’t distracted by things outside of our control.  Surrender isn’t giving up, but realizing that it is not in our strength or ability to change or make things happen. The only one who can change or make things happen is God. I knew that no matter what happened -baby or no baby- I was at peace because I knew He wanted the best for me, no matter what that looked like.

A few months later I wasn’t feeling my best but didn’t think anything of it at first. Then it hit me, that I might be pregnant. I checked to see if I still had a test and I found one. When I looked down at the test I was surprised and shocked. I was pregnant! After years of trying, here I was expecting a baby.

It doesn’t always happen that way. Surrender can sometimes come with no assurance that things will get better or that things will change suddenly or drastically. Sometimes surrender looks like letting go of what our view on things should be and just allowing God to step in.

What are you needing to surrender to God so that you can see His beauty?

Bio

Cassandra is a wife and mom to three boys. When she isn't managing her household she working on some kind of craft project or pursuing her dream of writing a novel.

She serves as the Worship Leader at her church in Orlando, Florida, and loves leading congregations into the presence of God. Her love of writing also extends into songwriting. You can follow her on Instagram @mamanejo.